absence

With Merchant Navy Day being celebrated this week and Seafarers being thanked and remembered for their sacrifice I thought it would be appropriate to share this story. Many thanks to Brenda for allowing us to tell her story.

After placing an advert in the Sea Breezes magazine asking if anyone had sailed with my father on either the Stakesby or the Gloucester City, I was delighted to receive two replies.
The first was from George Crawley who lived in Hull. He said that if I came to Hull he would be pleased to meet me. We arranged to meet and he had prepared tea and cakes for my visit, just as his wife would have done he said (his wife was in poor health and was in respite care).
George told me that he and my father had been young officers on the Stakesby right at the beginning of the war in 1939. They were anchored in Newport Wales and had a drink on their off duty time and that my father liked a Guinness.
I had obtained the log book of the Stakesby with my father's name mentioned and had brought a copy with me. George recognised many of the names and he showed me photos of the ships that he had sailed on. He also had a beautiful ship's wheel and anchor in his garden. I expect when I had gone he spent more times with his memories and I was so pleased that the advert in the Sea Breezes had also given another seafarer pleasurable memories.
A few weeks later I received a letter from a Captain Petersen who lived in Cornwall. He had served with my father on the Gloucester City and told me that my father had a fine intellect and given to serve in the best tradition of the Merchant Navy. I was so proud to hear that.
It was Remembrance week when I first visited Ken, as I came to know him. We went to the British Legion for a drink and whilst there a young man heard us talking about the Gloucester City. He said he remembered her because his father used to load her as she was then taking ammunitions to France.   We went to the dockside and one of the ships was leaving port so we stood and put our poppies on the water as the ship sailed away, in remembrance of my father's ship.
Ken told me in their off duty time they would go to a small cafe for a meal, he didn't think it would be there now, however we discovered it and although larger it was owned by a young couple. Ken told them the story about their meal there all those years ago and that they used to have a glass of Benedictine after their meal. The young man then produced a bottle of Benedictine and said we should raise our glasses to Mrs Harrison's father who should have been here with us. I thanked him for that lovely thoughtful gesture.   I feel rather sad when I think of it.
Ken also took me to Fowey where the ship used to load up and I stood for a while where he (my father) would have as they loaded the ship.

He told me that they often went ashore in Brest and that my father spoke fluent French. Something else I learned about him. Like many thousands who have lost their dads I often wished over the years that I could have known him and been able to talk to him. Being only 6 yrs old when he died I never had that pleasure. However, thanks to the advert in the Sea Breezes
I at least got to meet those who knew my father and had only good words to say about him.

~~A very important part of life for a seafaring family is communication, whether it is talking to each other, through email or phone calls. When my husband was at sea, we didn’t have access to email and phone calls were via satellite and only used on special occasions.   We did use mobiles but that became so expensive (some months our bill was hundreds of pounds, and when you hear their voice you don’t think of how much it is costing) Now that wasn’t in the dark ages but communications have came a long way with nearly everyone having a Smartphone, I pad etc so people are more or less used to instant contact.
Reverting back to pre – instant communication, I loved my letters and there was something magical about getting a bunch of letters at the one time. My husband numbered the back of the envelopes so I would know in what order to read them, and I kept all his letters until he arrived home on leave. When our children came along they too got their postcards and letters. Depending on where the ship was going sometimes you could have four to six weeks between letters. That’s when you re read the previous ones time and time again. We did have a lovely collection of stamps and our geography did improve!   My husbands’ trips were usually for six months and if the ship was on a set run I had the proposed dates and agents addresses of where to send his mail. This is when the numbered letters were practical – sometimes the mail would miss him and poor soul had to hope that the agent would forward it to the next port. Not all countries had an efficient postal service!   My husband changed shipping companies and although his trips weren’t much shorter – this time his mail went via the office in Southampton and they forwarded it with the company’s mail.   When we were able to email (via the ship) I felt as if we had lost some of the intimacy that you get in letters. Oh you could still say how much you loved and missed them and give them all the family news but the very personal stuff you didn’t express.
Now with younger seafaring families they (not all) can have access to Skype, email and phone calls and does it make life any easier? Sometimes you can get frustrated with poor connections, or feel as if they have sounded uninterested in your conversation, get annoyed if they seem to be enjoying themselves too much!   A very positive side I have seen is that when my son in law was working in India for a month, my grandchildren spoke to him via Skype every evening, and although they missed him greatly, they coped very well and he still felt involved in their everyday life.
So you see no matter which method is available to you, keep communicating and remember to say how much you love and miss them.

Memories

Communication